Early Morning Alex – 09 February 2011

A little poem with no title. Also, no reason. Maybe.

I hate having thin skin.

No really, I do. I was playing LoL with a friend of mine, [MapleEmperor], and we were practicing a champion we’d both taken interest in, Lux. Despite being the one who asked if he wanted to practice with me, I had reservations about practicing against him. Not only is he a better player than me (in this case zoning), he has these runes that give him an unnatural resistance to magic damage; Lux does magic damage. Not only this, he picked a skilled called “Ignite,” which he would never use with Lux, just for the purpose of using it against me for early kills. I got fucked over by all these things and died first.

In LoL, you need to stay alive to 1) get exp and level up 2) not give the enemy gold. Dying, in a 1v1 practice, when LoL is usually played 5v5, means you’re not going to catch up. On my third death, I lamented this, but [MapleEmperor] thought dying early had nothing to do with learning the character. That to play Lux, a “skill-shot” character you just had to land hits, which he claims was the only thing he was trying to do. Without levels, he said, I could still practice with Lux.

Wrong. If I’m underleveled, I do less damage, have less life, and my skills are less effective. Even at even levels, he has those runes and ignite, and more gold = better items. It also stands to reason that two characters facing off have the same range. If I can hit him, he can hit me. So if I try, at all, to hit him, he can hit be back, harder. Which means I have play defensively, and not every really get to learn the character at all because he keeps “trying to land the skill-shots.”

That’s the arguement, but what pisses me off, is that, when I said this, he didn’t understand any of it. He duely noted that I was bitter and upset at this turn of events, but refused to empathize in the slightest.

I wanted to learn the character, I was hoping that the better equipped, better skilled friend of mine would jsut ease up when I asked him to. But no. That’s too much to ask for. That’s always too much to ask for.

This always f–king happens. Always. Something unfair happens to be, my thin, mental skin bleeds, and MY F–KING FRIENDS NEVER GET IT. Why are these people my friends? Because in fair-weather, when everyone is fine, then they are fine. We have fun. Smack talk is fine. Being dicks, on occassion is fine. But whenever I feel like I’ve been wrong, whenever all I’m asking for is a bit of empathy, I never get it.

I don’t want to hear your f–king automatic “I’m sorry.” I don’t. I don’t want to hear it, because you’re not actually sorry. You don’t actually think that your responsible for my pain. So fuck you, and I hope you fail your midterm you fucking piece of shit.

Timestamp – 1:22 AM