Throat thing. It makes be swallow a lot of salvia and mucus that builds up. Throat is hella sore, and I’ve become super sensative to the cold. GG.

Timestamp – 4:52 PM

Yeah, at dinner today, I was sitting eating with Jesse, Chris, and Niamh. We were talking about what classes to take for Winter quarter, one thing led to another, and next thing I know I’m getting earfuls about how you can’t so shit with a BA in English and being and engineer is the most glorious, most demanded job of the universe. Chris was silent for all of this though.

Not only that, I also proceeded to hear that I shouldn’t be taking German, but Chinese because “nobody speaks German.” Not even in Europe. According to these masterminded engineers, German is only spoken in Germany. Hmm. Yeah, no. Apparently, throwing around the idea of double majoring in Econ isn’t too bright either. Nope. Everything I’m doing is just a waste of my fucking time isn’t it?

I expressed my sensitivity to this, quite pissed off I might add, and you know what their responses were? First being, “you need to get more sleep Alex. You only got 7 hours last night and 4 the night before.” When that didn’t fly with me, “calm down, we’re just jealous that we have to kill ourselves for our Major every quarter and we’re just trying to feel better.”

No apology. Nada. Nothing.

I believe I then said, “Oh, well next time I’m feeling bad I’ll just kick a puppy,” Thereby leading into an awkward silence.

Seriously, so what if I’m not science minded? So what if my life isn’t mother fucking planned out each fucking quarter with an “easy to get” job at the end? Honestly though, that’s not the point. I was offended. I told my friends that they had just offended me. I specifically said that I was tired of them taking potshots at me like that. And there were no apologies. There were no promises to let up. Just an awkward silence that ended when Niamh had to go to class.

And then, much later, in Jesse and Niamh’s room watching Avatar:TLA together, there was just fun and merriment. Even during the hour of TKD inbetween with Jesse, it was hardly on my mind either. I can’t say I’m still pissed off, but seriously, nothing? I may or may not have addressed this topic before, but I have indeed noticed humans have a way of getting over things by doing absolutely nothing.

But you know something? That’s always pissed me off about people. Maybe it’s just my Asian background, or just me personally, but I don’t really think its right to not apologize. If I hurt someone’s feelings inadvertantly, time passed that they got over it, then later they would tell me about how much it bothered them back then, I’d apologize right then and there. Why? Cuz I know I’ve fucked up. People have human hearts. Human hearts get hurt. I specifically said, “you guys have just hurt me by insulting what I love to do and what I’ve chosen to do with my life.”

And there was nothing.

Timestamp – 11:01 PM

I’m gonna try it. I’m also going to stop procrastinating on my homework. >_>

Timestamp – 1:47 AM

Wow, this morning was bad. I got up at 7:30, feeling very good, but then decided an extra half hour won’t kill me. I then proceded to wake up at 9, which is the time German starts, so I had to book my ass all the over there. That wasn’t the worst of it though. You see, I didn’t do the right homework the night before. We were assigned activity I in our workbooks, of chapter 3. Not paying attention, I accidentally did chapter 2’s activity I. : (

Some more things happened today, but it’s getting late, hahaha.

Oh yeah, hamstring injuries SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

Timestamp – 1:41 AM

Yeah, college life thus far as been pretty awesome, haha. I’ve met a lot of people already, and I’m definitely enjoying the chance to spread my wings. For example, I’m taking German, hahaha. That’s right, ich lerne nicht Französich, aber lerne Deutsch. I love the way it sounds, haha. I’m also taking Taekwondo over here. Of course, given from the last post you already knew all of that, but man, after so many years of wanting to try a martial art, finally getting to do one is  a blast. Thus far, I’ve learned front stance, back stance, fighting stance, walking stance, upper defence, middle defence, lower defence, knife hand block, side kick, roundhouse, and front kick. Hahaha still just a white belt, but when I put on that uniform for the first time, I just felt so… right. It’s like, after weeks of going to practice in a t-shirt and shorts, I’m finally wearing my uniform proudly.

Also, mentioned last post, I joined an Ultimate Frisbee Intramural team at my school. Team Chuchu is made of some people I met at Koinonia, a Christian fellowship on UC Davis. Now hold your horses folks, I haven’t exactly converted. It all started with eating dinner with some of Ed’s friends, who turned out to be Koinonian peoples. Then there was the Freshman Welcome celebration they did with free food and lots of fun activites. The people are just really great people, and I have a lot of fun with them. Also, I met Jesse at Koinonia, which was awesome. She’s my most regular hang out buddy at this point, haha. I’d say some more things, but right now I know she stalks my blog and like, there are complicated things going on underneath the surface between us.

*Segues* Yeah, that’s one of the things that I can’t exactly get over when it comes to blogging. There are things I want to say about people from time to time, only that those people read my blog, and would thereby know what I’m saying. You know? I can’t say like, “Oh by the way, don’t read this particular post. I don’t want to know what I said,” and etc. Even beyond talking about people, I can’t be like, “Oh I got this gift for Ed’s birthday and he’s going to be hella surprised by it,” or you know, just things like that. It just makes we wonder about how private I should make things.

If you kept an eye on my previous posts, you would have saw that I put up a protected blog post, only to take it down immediately after. At the moment, only one person knows what that post entails just because I told him/her about it over the phone, and I doubt I’ll post that back up anytime soon.

There’s so much more to talk about, specifically my classes, but I’ll save that for later in the day. I’m getting tired and my chair aggravates my hamstring. DX

Timestamp – 1:14 AM

Yeah. I pulled my left hamstring on Sunday during Taekwondo : (. I was already sore from Thursday’s practice, and I didn’t get a chance to stretch over the weekend. While the blame really falls onto myself, I’d like to take the time to blame the commute up and down to San Jose, hahahaha. I mean seriously, this sucks. I have an Ultimate Frisbee game today with my Intramural team, but I have to sit out of it now : (.

Although, I’m lucky it’s not as bad as it could have been. After the initial “HOLY CRAP MY LEG” moment, my instructor let me sit out of the running exercises to stretch. But I mean, it’s really demoralizing to just be sitting there while everyone else is working. I tried to get up and join in at the end of the sprints, but my instructor stopped me again. She then told me about how she once hurt her hamstring, let it rest for a week, thought it was better, attempted to run, and then put herself into another two weeks of recovery.

I was planning on writing more in this post, but I have class at 1. I’ll just follow up this evening or something.

Timestamp – 12:24 PM

He stood admist a sea of blood and corpses, his scythe shining in the crismon-dyed moonlight. For many years I have hunted this man, a monster of man who journeys from village to village, slaying anything he wishes to be dead. I came not for revenge, nor did I desire to stop him. I came not to ask him why, but how. How was it, that this walking mass murder had yet to be stopped? Why did the world turn a blind eye to this man, who has killed more than any plague or catastrophe?

“You ask a question that I can not answer with words, my friend. Walk beside me and perhaps you’ll find the answers you seek.”

For many seasons I followed him, waiting for the light. Instead I learned that he does not merely kill. To a select, arbitrarily chosen few, he impaled upon that wicked blade, and held them as they bled. He inhaled their last breath, burned their last words in his mind, felt their bodies last quivers. He left survivors from time to time, only to watch them from afar, observing their adaptations. All the while, he said nothing to me. For those seasons past, not a word passed between us. It was as if we were walking on a crowded street. Although one often steps on the heels of the other, ultimately we ignore those around us.

The day would come when the scythe found its way through my chest, and I could feel my heart beating against the cold metal. In his eyes, I saw my soul reflected. A completely objective view of myself, sans emotion, memory, or value. Slowly, I found myself drawn to the eyes of the dying man. In those eyes, I could see the image of victim before me, equally objective. Equally emotionless. Equally worthless. And again, the image reflected, showing the soul slain before. Hundreds upon thousands of souls, all amounting to nothing.

It was fear. Fear that kept this man unchallenged. To confront him was to confront the truth. Our lifes, our conventions, our hopes, our fears, our sin, our salvation, all that we have worked to create, both physically and idealogically, amount to nothing. And so, I too faded away into nothing, becoming yet another zero in his collection. No, that’s not right. I did not become nothing. I simply…was.

Timestamp – 1:46 AM

I was looking for parking for my bike, when a man in a suit approached me, offering a mini New Testament Bible. Oddly enough, on my mind at the time was developing a catchphrase/creed for a possible NaNoWriMo idea. That catchphrase? “No rest for the wicked, no hope for the damned.” Then I am presented with a free bible, hahaha.

I know I should blog more about college life, but everything has been happening at a rapid pace, with excruciating lulls in activity. It could be like, Go to class for an hour, have a two hour break, then class for 2 hours, and etc etc. It feels as though I have excess time and not enough time for everything. Consider this a small step back into blogging.

Timestamp – 3:52 PM

Man, I feel so socially awkward now that I’m in a dorm, surrround by people I’ve never met before. I want to like, just start talking to people, but I’d have no idea what to say. I get nervous just thinking about it all. A couple doors down from me is a dorm with the door wide open, obviously saying “Come in and talk!” But its just two girls, each at her own deck reading/on the laptop, and I have no idea how to just suddenly come in on them and strike up a conversation. I was hoping that the madatory floor meeting would involve some kind of ice breaker, but all it was just talking about the policies and other facets of dorm life. I guess I was just expecting a social life to fall out of the sky, haha.

Not only that, I’m tired as hell. Slept at 3:30ish AM, and woke up at 7 AM to get ready to go. Well, more like got out of bed at 7:30. Anyways, Dad, Mom, Phong, Julie, Elaine, Dianna, and Doug all accompanied me on the trip. Linda and her friend Stephen would came later on in their own car. We had to take two cars: first of all with all those people going, we couldn’t bring down the seats of the van to make space, and secondly the van’s trunk was so packed anyways that a dissembled bike still wouldn’t have fit. My dad and mom took the truck while the rest of us piled into the car. As usual, Phong obeyed his id and brought along T-Rex, our 3 month old puppy. He’s a rather cute cross between a chihuahua and a Jack Russel terrier; I’ll put up some pictures later.

We left the house around 8 AM, and chugged down Red Bull sometime around 9. All in all, it was a pretty uneventful trip. We had to make a pit stop for someone, thereby costing our lead over our parents, and I managed to score a Brain Age of 30 on my sister’s DSi. I don’t really think that game works in the ways everyone hopes it does, but whatever, not my money. The interesting part for me though, was listening to the Pokemon: The First Movie soundtrack along the way. My mom found it recently in a cardboard box, and I decided to hang onto it. Man I feel old listening to it haha. Aaron Carter is on the soundtrack, so is Britney Spears, Christina Aguliera, and N*Sync, haha. Whoops, almost for Vitamin C who sang the song that compelled me to beg for the CD all those years ago: Vacation, aka the song played in the opening short, Pikachu’s Vacation.

Anyways, the view from my room is amazing. Up on the 5th floor, I have this amazing, unobscured view os a very long stretch of road. Imagine the “one-point perspective” drawing exercises. We ate lunch at KFC, and after buying some last minute supplies, my parents were off. After that, I basically hung out with Ed for a while. I didn’t run into my roommate until around 2-4ish, since he got up late. He’s a pretty cool guy. Harry Gebhardt, a football player. We have the same lax feelings about things like sleep hours and etc, so filling out the “mutual agreements” paper thing to designate study time and etc was simple.

Oh man, so I forgot to bring an ethernet cable to my dorm right? Also, the cable Harry got wasn’t long enough to reach his desk from the port, but it would have reached mine. This is around 4ish and Harry left to eat dinner/late lunch with his parents. So I hear from Ed’s roommate Tony that the Segundo (the dorm area I’m staying in) Computer Center is giving out free ones. I walk there only to discover that they are out of ethernet cords, and my only alternative is to head over the ARC (Activities and Recreation Center) to get a cheap one. A simple 14ft one went for 3.99, so I got it, clean and easy. However, the girl at the counter warned that if I opened it, I would not be able to return it. So when I get back to my dorm, Harry is back, and he’s obtained a free ethernet cable from the Computer Center. I haven’t opened the cable I bought, but the container is a ziplock bag thing, and I don’t know if there’s any real way to prove that I didn’t open it.

Oddly enough, Harry’s laptop, a Mac, couldn’t get any Internet, despite being hooked up. We switched around the cables for a bit, but that didn’t solve anything. Eventually, I put into practice the skills I learned from port forwarding, and after some fiddling with the Ip address, I managed to get him Internet. That was cool and all, but around 6:20 PM went I went back to the ARC with Ed to return the cable, they were already closed. : (. Now I have to wait until tomorrow and hope that they’ll let me return it.

Dinner with Ed, followed by the floor meeting, which ended around 8 PM. Then of course, came this interesting block of time where I found myself shy.

Also, now I can hear the sounds of people in the Hall sing karaoke or playing Rock Band or something, and I’m too goddamn tired to go check it out. /sigh

Timestamp – 12:10 AM

They are. : D

Timestamp – 3:17 AM